The Great Hair Conundrum
I hate my hair. I do. I’ve hated it my entire life. I’ve never entirely known just what to do with it. I envy other girls who have great hair, who can do all sorts of tricks and twists and curls and make it look amazing.
The various reasons I hate my hair:
- It’s insanely thick. INSANELY. Every stylist I’ve ever been to comments on it, and not usually like an, “Oooooh! Pretty!” type of comment. More like an, “Ohhhh. Um. Wow. You want this thinned out, right?” type of comment.
- It’s unmanageable no matter what the length. It looks shitty in a short style, and it looks equally as shitty long.
- It takes forever to straighten, and forget blow drying. I’d be there all day. I don’t know how girly-girls do it. 45 minutes straightening my hair is not really how I want to spend my time. Halfway through I get pissed off and sweaty and then I feel like I need to wash it all over again. It’s total bullshit!
So when I was younger my hair just had a natural wave to it and it was lighter blonde. My mom made me keep it short always, like pixie-cut short.
Now that I’m older and I make the rules, I’ve grown it out long and so now it’s just this massive amount of unruly curls. It took me 3.5 agonizing years to grow it out after one bad haircut. Remember when the “stacked in the back” look was in? (Not to be confused with the “stacked in the back” reference to having a huge ass). It was a classic soccer mom cut back then. And unfortunately, I jumped on the bandwagon too. I don’t even know why I did it, because it’s not me at all.
Around the same time of the bad cut, I went on a very strict diet and my hair FREAKED. It started falling out in clumps. It became very dry and brittle. It lost all traces of any shine it might have had. Plus it was color treated so that didn’t help the health of it much. And even though I hate my hair for it’s insane thickness, I got scared that I was noticeably going bald. No amount of hair vitamins helped. Nioxin didn’t help. Stupidly, it never occurred to me that it could be diet related. Once I stopped that particular diet, things started improving.
Fast-forward to today: my hair is halfway down my back and I swear it weighs at least 10 lbs (15 when it’s wet). Okay, I’m exaggerating but it is SO MUCH and I’m not sure I want it anymore. It’s not quite long enough yet to chop off and give to Locks of Love. I’d like to at least try to live with it until it is, but I’m not sure I can. My hairbrush is like it’s own little animal after just a couple of brushings. It tangles and breaks off and starts almost resembling dreadlocks. Not that there’s anything wrong with dreadlocks, it’s just not what I’m going for right now.
There’s really no point to this post other than to bitch about my unruly fro and try to figure out what to do with it. I spent the time to grow it this long, only to throw it in a ponytail every day to keep it out of my way. I have no really good reasons to keep it around, other than my husband likes it long but he wouldn’t care if I lost some of it, I think. Still, losing something you’re used to being with every day still feels like a major loss.
Ahhhh, the vain decisions we are faced with that don’t really matter at all, right? St. Baldrick’s isn’t so far away. Could I be brave enough to shave it off completely for a great cause? Something to think about.